When ‘Nothing, really’ really feels good

I’ve been feeling like time is being stolen from us – feeling like a day is no longer 24 hours, second for second. We are always rushing, late and indeed ‘running late’ has become an expression of choice when we are running behind schedule. Then COVID-19 came, and people suddenly found themselves with too much time in their hands as the world slowed down. After the initial shock, Parkinson’s law kicked in – ‘Work expands to fill time available’, and humanity creatively crafted more work for themselves, and then time became a constraining factor once again. See the cyclical nature of this? Anyway, let me refocus and circle back to time later.

In March 2021, I left a good remunerating job with awesome medical cover after more than nine years. This job required average intensity, which had really become low intensity because of COVID-19, yet the salary remained the same. I had wanted to leave for a while but needed a good reason and courage to step out, indeed on hindsight I was seeking any reason. I started on a short-term consultancy, minimal medical coverage, high intensity, skills demanding, time consuming, fast paced job. This, to anyone who didn’t know me would have felt crazy – but the people who knew about this transition understood that such crazy is something that I could excel in. Three contract renewals and a series of recruitment tests later, I accepted a more permanent position with the organization. For this to take effect, it was mandatory that I took a one-month break in service. This was about the most excited I had felt in a long time. Colleagues were wondering why I was excited about an unpaid break, and HR staff explained to me twice to ensure that I understood I won’t be paid during my break. Of course, I clearly understood, and I wasn’t thinking about the lost income, I was excited for the time gain.

As I write, I am six weeks into the break that was supposed to be four weeks long, and I’m not complaining. This is not because I have projects that I started or am engaged in that necessitate more tine. In effect, I didn’t set any objectives for myself during this break – I could have learned to sew, gardened, honed my knitting skills, travelled, visited friends, read a book a day, etc. Instead, I decided this time I’ll let time take control and my only goal was my life’s goal of staying happy today, now, this moment. So, when asked what I have been doing these past weeks, my simple response has been ‘nothing, really’ and it really feels so good. When I look back at these past weeks, I realize no amount of salary could pay for the time spent doing ‘nothing, really’. The cherry on the cake and the most important assessment has been what my son has said/asked so many times ‘Mommy, I wonder why you have become so relaxed and nice’. My response – ‘Well son, it is because I’ve had many days of doing nothing really, and it feels so great’.