Gifting – A love note to an awesome individual

 If you read my birthday post, you know I’ve been thinking about memorable things I’ve done for others, and yes, it is not self-serving or narcissistic; I’m looking at it from the viewpoint of having received more than enough so I can give to others. And sometimes it feels good to leave the bubble of humility —faux or intentional – and accept that you have been a blessing to many. It’s motivating and brings illumination to what’s important for you – for me, it's more than that; it brings meaning to my purpose.

Today, I woke up thinking about gifting – in light of what I’ve received, not what I’ve given. Am I expressing contradictory ideas? No… it’s the egg, chick, egg cycle. I have been thinking about gifts I’ve received from one individual – a beautiful soul who I absolutely love. However, before I return to discussing this specific angle, let me first talk about gifting in general.

Gifting is a gesture of kindness, sometimes to join souls and spirits in celebrating an event, honour a relationship, express emotion, meet a need… but, more importantly, to create lasting memories. We gift without expecting something in return, but gifting follows the law of reciprocity – not necessarily between the individuals involved or in the same physical measure. When you give a gift with pure intentions, you may not realise it at the time, but that kindness always comes back to you.

There are a few considerations that come to mind when thinking about what to give someone – the 'why' of it all, what the person likes, what the person needs/wants, affordability and accessibility, etc. Above all, people always say, ‘It’s the thought that matters.' True, and… nothing beats the warm glow on the receiver’s face.

Admittedly, I’m one of those ones that people find difficult to give gifts to. And to be honest, I would find it difficult to gift someone with my personality trait. However, this person has successfully broken through the barriers I have erected around my life events and has over the years bestowed upon me the most unforgettable gifts. Her gifts are very practical yet could be placed in the museum of my heart. She has a way of selecting the most thoughtful items for me – not what I need or want, but what I would like to keep and cherish. I want her to acknowledge the gift of picking the most perfect gifts every time.

Note: all those pictures were taken today – of some of the gifts she's given me over the years.

 

My 2025 Birthday

As I sit here towards the end of the day of my birthday, reflecting on how beautifully unique this day has been, I remember that I promised to share my blog with more people today.

Am I ready for that move? Absolutely not! But is there ever … Will there ever be … a time when the chips are all in place for a big launch? I doubt it. The human mind doesn’t allow satiety, lest it be branded lazy, mediocre, and the like.

Where do I start? First, I'll tell you about my day, which started before 4 am. The heat was awful, and the electricity kept going out, so I couldn't sleep much. I picked up my phone and saw a long message that started with 'Happy birthday’—my first birthday wish. But the message swiftly devolved into an anticlimactic account of what the sender believed I had done to hurt them. I decided to respond and clear the mess before the crack of dawn because I intended to have a joyful day. That I did! Couldn’t sleep; I tossed and turned, thinking about the memories I have helped create for others.

6:25 am, I was in the car to the office—a pinkish red dress never worn to work before, black stilettos because why not, and maroon lipstick. It was a busy day in the office, and then I received a call—someone was at the gate for me. My friend, who is the twin sister of another friend, had arrived with beautiful red roses in one hand and a cute little cup that reads, ‘You’re my lobster.' Sure, the phrase is a reference from the series 'Friends,' which I never watched because it was too popular for my liking. Pictures, pictures… WhatsApp and back to work. Ooohhhh! But hold on… those roses are to die for.

Then walks in my friend and colleague. She had ordered a bucket of chicken from a Chinese fast-food joint, which we picked up at the gate, and I saved it for later. Of course, today is the last day of my dawn-to-dusk fasting (starving, according to my young friend, side note, she won't make heaven), and I must hit the finish line.

Now let me back track… I did something monumental today. I took a leap of faith and sent an email that could change the course of my 9-to-5 life. I won't reveal the specifics right now, but I firmly believe that I was obeying God's instruction, and I am certain that I will be writing a testimony about it soon. 

Back home, I enjoyed the chicken while reverting to the thoughts I had in the wee hours of the morning. It's easy to think about what others have done for you, but it's also good to reflect on how you've affected their lives. I forgot to mention that I posted a rare update on my WhatsApp status at 3 am. Simple message—'Typical April Day. Empty bank account but extremely grateful and happy.' The truth of this statement hinges on the specific bank account in question. I’m sure I have mentioned in a previous post the correlation between my birth month and the amount of disposable money I have left by my birthday. This year is no exception, but the money was used for a good cause, including giving someone a once-in-a-lifetime experience of travelling abroad to visit a sibling. I thought of the times I have stood in the gap between people and new life experiences, whether it be paying for travel, education, coaching for job interviews, or even just seeing another perspective that changed their way of thinking. Those accomplishments made me smile. Who am I? What’s my purpose in life? I wonder.

As this day draws to a close, I am grateful for all the kind messages and gifts of love that I received—from family, friends, and acquaintances. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve others in many ways. I can’t express enough gratitude for divine providence that provides and provides and provides, enabling me to give and give some more. I have a deep appreciation for the person I am, the family I am constructing, the life I live, and the people who surround me; however, my greatest love is for God.

 

Mark of greatness

This thought has been bugging me for the past few days and I feel I just have to get it off my chest. I have been avoiding writing articles that include people who are not my family, but I am hoping the person I will mention here will not mind. I am killing myself because it means I will have to let her into my blog to read this article, but I hope she’ll enjoy reading my articles (actually it’ll be a privilege!). Truth be told, I am a tad bit apprehensive…



I reinforced my knowledge of leadership a lot at the end of last week. It wasn’t about learning something new, but it was about getting a deeper meaning of the terms: inherent leadership and acquired leadership. There has always been a raging debate about leaders being born or made, but I have never really thought about it the way I did this weekend. I have gone through a leadership program, I have managed a leadership training program for 3 years, I have talked to people who hold leadership positions, in short I have meddled with leadership myself – and it is amazing I needed to experience what I did last Friday to give a deeper thought to leadership.


Made leaders are those who by chance or achievement find themselves in positions to lead. They may (or not) have taken courses in leadership, acquired leadership notions, are good mannered, etc. They may (or not) excel in their jobs because they apply the notions they learnt and also put to value their experiences. They make good leaders (or not) depending on the angle people judge them from. On the other hand, inherent leaders are born that way. People often say ‘there are just two types of people, those who lead, and those who follow’, and I say even when seemingly following, inherent leaders are leading. Let me explain what I mean better in the next couple of paragraphs


On Friday, there was a discussion about who will carry out a specific task in the office (a task that did not require any particular skill, so anyone could do it actually). My Country Director had a couple of options (in my opinion):


• oblige someone to do their job


• assign the job to someone else


Both options would have meant she is applying the notions of leadership – delegation, ensuring people do their tasks, team work, etc. and everyone would have praised her for being a good leader. Now here is the shocker – she chose to do the task herself! What? Yes, she did!


Every type of leader could go for the first two options, but ONLY an inherent leader would do what she did and in the way she did it, without prejudice or display of anger and frustration. I am not sure how she was feeling at that moment, but the fact that she offered to do the job so naturally, not rubbing it in people’s faces, triggered my thoughts about leadership. Even some people who will take up tasks voluntarily often do so grudgingly, and the tasks aren’t usually as far removed from their regular ones as this was from a Country Director’s job. Such humility! It did not just make her a good leader, she showed GREAT leadership! Her concern at that point was to get the job done, rather than focusing on who did the job! If only all leaders could be this way. You can’t learn something like that, you just can’t – it comes naturally, it is who the person is! That is the ultimate difference between a born leader (great leadership) and a made leader (good leadership).

Happy Mothers' Day

This Poem was written by Maya Angelou, one of the greatest Poets of our times. I am posting this, as a tribute to women and the role they play.

Phenomenal Woman - Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.