Simply courteous or Interest-directed

This will probably be the most spontaneous posting I have done so far on my blog. Like the ghost of an unhappy dead person, one question has been pursuing me since I could think... What stops people from showing respect to everyone they meet?

I have a somewhat small corpulence (just about 5ft) and 52kg, and needless to say I have been victim of displays of disrespect and complete lack of selfless courtesy many times than I can bother to count. Usually, I take pleasure in seeing the look on the faces of people who meet me for the first time after having heard of me, or spoken with me on the phone. Why do people think that when you have a seemingly 'big' title, professionally, it should be accompanied by an imposing personality? To be unfairly modest to myself, I tend to be quiet, inconspicuous and humble, and at times people tend to take this to mean weakness, or people try to exploit the situation. I have had to tell a few people off as well (trust my words can sharper than a sword), when they breached the boundary and got to my rather quiet nerves.

You may wonder what has prompted this creativity today. It is because of what happened earlier today that I feel I should get off my chest. This morning, my hubby drove me to work, and we parked as usual in the space reserved for staff. A female colleague came and parked besides us and told the guard to ask us to leave that space. The guard, not recognising me informed us the lot was for staff only, and I informed him I was staff. So we shut the doors and were walking towards the office entrance when the colleague practically jumped out of her car and asked us to stop. We did, and she came shouting that we shouldn't park there because it is space for staff, and so we should go and drive out. The guards were telling her I am staff, but she was just not listening. I told her so myself but she was busy 'barking' and informed me I was not a staff member. So I asked her politely if she doesn't know me, and she said she doesn't. So I called my name and then she 'recognised' me. How embarrassing in front of guards! She apologised and apologised again but the damage had already been done - to her.

A few questions have been going through my mind. Is it because we were not driving a car as plush as hers? Is she carrying a burden from somewhere and just couldn't resist exposing her bad manners at the first chance? Even if we were visitors, is that how to address another human being? If she had an issue with someone parking there, why couldn’t she inform the appropriate persons and let everyone do his/her job? Why can't people just respect, just be courteous to anyone they meet, irrespective of looks or possessions? Must we be nice and polite only to people we think are of our 'class' or people we have particular interests in? There are as many questions as there are impolite people on earth... and no satisfactory answers.

Please be nice to people. Even when hurt, try to keep the tone down... you will learn a lot more that way than shouting without listening to others, just to end up being the fool.

Amazing! what things and people one misses

The other day when I was sitting in a hair dressing saloon braiding my hair, I had enough time to think through my life. I was amazed at how much I missed certain things and people. I always lie to myself about not missing home, but hey that is just one way of getting over it. I might not miss the obvious but there are people and things I miss that give me a feeling of frustration at times.

* My hair dresser. Oh how I wish I could spend that much money I used to, and get a good hair-do. Back in Yaounde, at times I felt my hair dresser was taking more than he ought to from me, because he was always on the high side of pricing compared to others. Not that others were as good as he was of course, but you know that feeling especially when you are counting your money in the ...000s (FCFA not £). Now I wish he was around. Since I got to Lagos, I have tried a few hair-dressers but their services have not satisfied me. How I miss him!

* Cameroonian dishes. When I walk into an eatery here, I sigh at the thought of the wide variety of dishes in a restaurant in Cameroon. Not to say much here, try both countries and you will find yourself running back to Cameroon! And oh how I miss fresh green spices.

* National team t-shirt. Back in Cameroon, I would not wear the Indomitable Lions' t-shirt even if it was given to me for free (don't get me wrong here, I was a fervent supporter, if ever there was one). At the end of January 09, my brother in law who came for a visit in Lagos (from Ife) wore one and I almost pulled it off him out of covetousness. I am happy I convinced him to leave that with me!

* My neighbour's kid. One of my neighbour's in Cameroon has one of the most amazing kids I have ever seen. She is so gracious, and will make anyone smile even in the worst of days. She is very alert and would remember everybody's name (or pet name), and she was barely 2!

* Girls night out! Those who are guilty know what I am referring to... I miss my company of friends!

* Of course I miss having electricity (without the noise of generators) 24/7; driving for 15-20 minutes to work (compared with the two hours here), and driving alone very late in the night without fear of being harassed.

I miss pays... Camer pour toujours!