Showing posts with label Lifeline.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lifeline.... Show all posts
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
Myomectomy – My Experience, Questions for the Surgeon or Ob-Gyn
The moment the decision is made, continue with research and note all the questions you have for the Physician. I learned that no question was irrelevant, so go all in. Below is a list of the questions I prepared for my second to last Dr’s visit (and you want to give yourself the opportunity to follow-up with more questions, so do not wait with this until the last visit before the surgery). Also, ask open ended questions so that through the responses you can get clarity on other things that you hadn’t thought of before.
Questions about the Surgery
1. How will the surgery be performed? Here you want to get all the details of the procedures and agree on options, e.g. for anesthesia type.2. What could cause me to need blood transfusion?
3. What are some of the unexpected things that can happen during the surgery? What are the chances of those happening?
4. What are the dispositions in place in case there are unforeseen during the operation?
5. How long will the surgery take?
6. What should I expect immediately after the surgery and the weeks after? How is the healing process going to look like physically and emotionally?
7. What types of post-op complications could I experience?
Questions about the surgery space and people
1. How many times have you conducted this operation? And how often?2. Share some of the remarkable experiences you have had, both positive and negative
3. Who else will be in the room?
4. What are the types of post-op rooms available at the facility? Cost? Care?
5. What do I need to prepare in advance, or take along with me (food, test results, medical history file, etc.)?
6. What does the facility offer (in the rooms, cleaning services, catering, etc.)
7. What is the schedule for the post-ops visits?
Myomectomy – My Experience, The Build-Up
Typically you will be required to do a series
of blood tests a few days prior to surgery. I did mine a week before and the
results were ready two days later.
Here is the sequence of events for me.
4 days before surgery - July 2, 2018
Final pre-ops visit to Dr with blood test
results. Everything was fine but Dr suggested I get blood from the blood bank a
day before the operation.
Caveat: African blood banks are mostly in need
of blood so do not expect to just go ‘pay’ for blood stored there. I didn’t
know at that time, but I lived through that experience of ignorance, so you
won’t.
It was during this visit that I got all the
information I needed for where the operation will take place and payment
modalities.
So typical of me, this is when I decided to inform the rest
of people who needed to know. The only person who had knowledge of the plans
prior to this date was my hubby, of course. After the Dr’s visit, I informed my
two best friends from office and a very close work collaborator – just told
them of the surgery but not the date. Then I
messaged my older brothers and sisters. The responses from my family were
varied: brothers were fine with my decision, one sister asked for details and
said she might need a surgery as well (she still hasn’t gone under so I guess
she didn’t need it after all). My eldest sister was apprehensive which I found
surprising because she’s a nurse and has undergone same - or maybe it’s for
those same reasons that she pleaded with me to revisit my decision, see other
gynecologists, seek God’s opinion again…etc.. I also informed one of my besties
in Uganda who had gone through the same and she had some very useful insights
for me
Then I finalize the list of all the things I had to do before
like stocking the house with food, getting my medical records together, work
tasks that I had to complete, packing list for the hospital, etc.
2 days before surgery - July 3
Visited the hospital where the surgery will take place for the first time to check out rooms and to pay for blood. Do not wait this long, go check out the hospital immediately you know so you will be better prepared than I was. I was so surprised when I was informed the blood bank was empty and I needed to bring 4 people to donate blood (I needed to have 2 pints of blood and each donor usually gives half a pint). I was ready to pay any amount of money but unfortunately bringing my own donors was the only way. Now I was in a dilemma because I hadn’t informed the people I had talked with that the surgery was this soon, so where do I get four blood donors in such a short time… with matching blood group A+.
when I left the hospital and was driving back to the office, I prayed to the Holy Spirit and told Him that if He doesn’t provide 4 donors, then I’ll know He disapproves of the surgery. As I was taking the bend to the office parking lot, I saw my work collaborator mentioned above with her fiancé. I stopped and asked the fiancé’s blood group. “A+”, he responded”. And then it gets better, he is a certified blood donor and will happily indulge me. My work collaborator too offered to donate if she was a match.
when I got into the office, I went to one of my two office besties – she informed me she is A+ and will happily donate. The colleague who shared office with her said same thing, same blood group. My 2nd office bestie offered to donate but wasn’t sure of his blood group. The Holy Spirit came through like a charm! This was one of many times I have put God to the test and He didn’t fail. You should try that too, with a little faith in His ability to pull through and not let you go through things you can’t bear 1Corinthians 10:13.
Past 7pm I’m making food in the kitchen and my cousin who
lived with me shows up with my phone. I take a call from my eldest sister and
she quickly passes me to ‘somebody who wanted to pray for me’ The person asked
me to leave the kitchen because of the oil (please don’t ask me the effect of
oil on prayers, I’m not that religious). I went to my room. He asked in a not
lowly spirited manner if I was a Christian and if I pay my tithes, and to whom
I pay my tithes. I responded to being a God fearing believer and ignored the
question about tithes. Then he started praying. My mind was somewhere else as I
tried to focus to no avail. He cursed the fibroid, calling it a ‘trick of the
devil’ and assured me of healing, asking me to feel it because I was healed. Twenty
some minutes later, after the ‘Amen’, he proceeded to asked me to call my
eldest sister early the following day and tell her the miracles I’ll experience
in the night and in return my sister will tell me her dreams. I don’t doubt the
power of God’s healing miracles but he lost me at his initial questions about
tithes (my Bible doesn’t tell me anywhere Jesus made that question relevant to
healing), so I guess if a miracle were
to happen, I wasn’t equipped to receive at that time. Or maybe he was just
using words, as many ‘Prophets’ of our days do. Whatever the case, this is a
lesson if you belong in a community where religion is emphasized over
righteousness, where people are complacent with dormancy because they are
‘waiting on the Lord’s miracle’.
The Day Before - July 4
The Day Before - July 4
I went to Hospital in the afternoon with 5 other people (the
four I had mentioned above and my cousin). Rapid blood tests were conducted and
2 of my potential donors were eliminated. The 3 others donated the 2 pints of
blood needed, and to me that is a miracle. Again as secretive as I am, I didn’t
tell my friends I’m taking a room that evening at the hospital for the surgery
the following day. I saw them off and came to the room I had booked and
confirmed while they were at the lab.
The only time I spent a night in hospital in my adult life was when I gave birth, and it wasn’t in my country. I had assumed I will meet a room with made up bed, but I was surprised even the best room in the hospital came with a bed, a mattress, a table, a side cupboard, a television and a bucket in the bathroom. Luckily my packing list included bedsheets and cover.
The only time I spent a night in hospital in my adult life was when I gave birth, and it wasn’t in my country. I had assumed I will meet a room with made up bed, but I was surprised even the best room in the hospital came with a bed, a mattress, a table, a side cupboard, a television and a bucket in the bathroom. Luckily my packing list included bedsheets and cover.
The anesthetist had informed me that he will meet me in my
room at 7pm. He never showed up that night. However a very reassuring nurse came
in and asked me to shave around my pubic area (which I had already done because
I did my research). She also advised that although she didn’t know exactly at
what time the operation will take place, it will probably be in the morning.
Sidenote: caregiver who is hubby comes in around 7pm, showers and asks for food. He finally goes out and gets some bananas and after eating he is back to work on his laptop.
I finally fall asleep, having placed my fate in God’s hands.
Sidenote: caregiver who is hubby comes in around 7pm, showers and asks for food. He finally goes out and gets some bananas and after eating he is back to work on his laptop.
I finally fall asleep, having placed my fate in God’s hands.
Myomectomy – My Experience, The Day of the Surgery
July 5, 2018
1:12am nurse comes to check if I had reserved the blood needed. He had just received a call to that effect
4:30am Janitor comes in to clean
5:30am I’m literally yanked out of bed by same nurse who came earlier. He ordered me to undress and get into the scrubs he was holding because the Dr was already in the theatre. I had to beg for two mins to brush my teeth and then I was off to the operating room.
Dr asks if I’m scared and anesthetist told him I don’t look scared. Onto bed and anesthetist gets to work setting up IV and stuff. More nurses come in and were moving this and arranging that, cleaning me up with Betadine and other chemicals
6am sharp the knife went in. I started viewing in the mirror but couldn’t continue so they pulled the sheet to shield my view.
Drs work fast... click click click goes the heart/pressure monitor.
First stone-like calcified fibroid, Dr shows me. Larger than a lawn tennis ball and really ugly. Later the other big living fibroid out and four smaller ones. Note here that so far, all the scans I had done had been showing only 2 fibroids.
6:43am I hear Dr asking for thread. I asked if he was closing me up already. He responded he was stitching the uterus. That had gone faster than I thought - the removal of the fibroids
Oh side note hubby had given his phone and unlock code to Dr for video. So an assistant was taking the videos which I have refused to watch till this day.
During the entire procedure the Drs were chatty. They sounded like people doing what they like and I learnt quite a few things about them individually. They made me promise not to repeat the stories they told about themselves because what happens in the operating room stays in the operating room.
Throughout the procedure the only song I could think of was ‘the steadfast love of my lord...’ Thank you Ms M (My Prayer partner) for making me love that song.
By 7:40am, I was sealed completely and yanked onto another gurney and the operating room was prepared for an emergency patient - so they said
I was then rolled to my room
8:00am – 9:35am I was working on some work stuff. I called my family and very close friends who knew about the surgery to inform them that it had happened and was successful. I informed my Supervisor that I had just had a surgery and asked her to inform the office. My colleagues with whom I had exchanged emails were so surprised and called to check if I had really had an operation since they have received some emails from me some minutes ago. However, I won’t advise anyone to work immediately out of the operating room, unless work is healing to you as it is to me. As I was doing all of these activities, I was throwing up continuously, from the effect of the anesthesia.
9:35am: Anesthesia effect wears off. I thought I’ll feel the pain that my friend who had gone through same had described but I felt no pain even after the numbness of my legs wore off. BUT I was still throwing up… some darkish green bitter substance (bile).
Throughout the day I lay on my back with IV running through my veins. The dosage of the painkiller and whatever else they gave was just right because I didn’t feel drowsy and I felt no pain. I had taken 5 bags of IV in the theatre and 3 more that day
Oh, did I mention the catheter inserted for urine?
1:30pm: Visitors from the office
5:00pm: Biggest sis shows up and we chatted and thanked God for the safe operation.
Bathing is the tricky part. Had a towel bath in the afternoon and another in the night. My body is itching and I think it’s from the medication I’m taking in the IV. I’ve been throwing up the entire day and it’s so uncomfortable.
What I was doing in between visits? watching CNN, reading my tweets, WhatsApping, thanking people from work who sent me good wishes all the while with a mind focused on appreciation to God on how smooth the whole experience was
10:00pm: Slept but had to get up a couple of times to throw up.
Myomectomy – My Experience, Post-Op
The day after - July 6
Around 3am: I got up from sleep, lay in bed for a while and woke up hubby to go bring kid. It was 3:24....I thought it was morning already. Of course he went right back to snoring
Around 3am: I got up from sleep, lay in bed for a while and woke up hubby to go bring kid. It was 3:24....I thought it was morning already. Of course he went right back to snoring
4:18am Janitor came to clean room and bathroom
5:10am: Nurses came in to check
6:00 Nurses came in again and added more
injections in the IV bag
Hubby goes home in the break of dawn.
I do this and that on my phone, read a book which is supposed to be about feminism but has Ryan Gosling’s photo on every page.
Napped a little and was woken up by call from hubby who can’t find the protein shake I asked him to get from the gas station mart
Decided to journal and son and hubby finally arrived at 12:25. They are eating this n that, stuff they bought on their way here. Where did time go to? Oh I remember, the World cup quarter finals match France vs Uruguay took some time and a nurse came in and removed the catheter and gave me a warm bath. Hubby had to go buy a water heater to warm the water.
I feel fresh, drink 150ml yoghurt in two portions and ate an apple. This was my first meal post-op., about 30 hours after the surgery. It triggered hunger and 3 hours later I chowed on some spaghetti bolognaise, which was the only food available in the cafeteria.
Family decide to use that opportunity to check their blood group. Hubby is B, son is O. and then they left. I had switched carers from hubby to my cousin
I walked (actually made movements which seemed like walking)
for about 10 minutes.
World Cup 2018 Brazil - Belgium match begins and ended with Belgium
winning 2:1
9:30pm I went to sleep and slept really deep with a pee break
around midnight.
2 days after - July 7
Woke up by janitor and nurse at 5am. Nurse greets and goes back and janitor does his great job.
Nurse returns an hour later to get my temperature, blood pressure and heart rate.
2 days after - July 7
Woke up by janitor and nurse at 5am. Nurse greets and goes back and janitor does his great job.
Nurse returns an hour later to get my temperature, blood pressure and heart rate.
7:02pm Breakfast of about 300g unsweetened yoghurt and one
apple
Medication time, walk around, Dr’s visit, watched a couple of sermons and then more walk and a bath
Medication and my prescription is renewed.
Medication time, walk around, Dr’s visit, watched a couple of sermons and then more walk and a bath
Medication and my prescription is renewed.
1:00pm Lunch if I may call 200ml yoghurt and an apple that.
1:12pm Finally free from the needle that had
been on my arm
1st World Cup match of the day in which England beat Sweden, then more yoghurt and hubby finally arrives with chicken and chips, which I ate a little. Then it was time to watch the great match where Croatia beat the host team Russia after penalties. Went to bed after 10pm
3 days after - July 8
Woke up feeling much better. Waiting for a friend who had said she’ll stop by at 8am. Trying to figure out the rest of the day.
She came with her hubby around 10am and they stayed till almost 2pm. I took a bath, a stroll n lay on the bed watching CNN coverage of the Thai boys being rescued from the cave (the football players who had been stuck in a cave for days).
Two Friends visited.
Ate some pasta and pepper soup n slept for about 20mins. Then son n hubby pop in for about an hour.
Another set of walks - beat my day target of 500steps - did more than 900 steps
Set a new target of 1500 for the following day, watched a Nigerian drama on YouTube and went to bed around 10:30
4 days post-op - July 9
Ate some pasta and pepper soup n slept for about 20mins. Then son n hubby pop in for about an hour.
Another set of walks - beat my day target of 500steps - did more than 900 steps
Set a new target of 1500 for the following day, watched a Nigerian drama on YouTube and went to bed around 10:30
4 days post-op - July 9
Woke up by 4:45 by janitor and later by nurses. Lay in bed till 7:10,
got up and bathed
Had breakfast while journaling and watching CNN
Drs rounds, work, walk, phone games, doing nothing, medication, visits... the day passed by. Beat my steps target again, did more than 2550. Slept n dawn
5 days post-op - July 10
Woke up at 4:30 by janitor
Dr’s visit at 6:05. Discharge confirmed.
Now the stubborn me is considering driving and not calling hubby to come drive me - so typical.
Up down up down I go in the hospital finance office for bills and saw the resident physician for discharge note. 11:30am hubby not there so I get behind the wheel and drive off.
Met hubby half-way, a couple runs in town and entered the house at 3pm on the dot. Feels good to be home.
Had breakfast while journaling and watching CNN
Drs rounds, work, walk, phone games, doing nothing, medication, visits... the day passed by. Beat my steps target again, did more than 2550. Slept n dawn
5 days post-op - July 10
Woke up at 4:30 by janitor
Dr’s visit at 6:05. Discharge confirmed.
Now the stubborn me is considering driving and not calling hubby to come drive me - so typical.
Up down up down I go in the hospital finance office for bills and saw the resident physician for discharge note. 11:30am hubby not there so I get behind the wheel and drive off.
Met hubby half-way, a couple runs in town and entered the house at 3pm on the dot. Feels good to be home.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Being to Doing...
Why haven’t I written for so long when I have such wonderful
thoughts to share? Why do I give in to excuses – ‘I’m tired’; ‘I’ll write later’;
…? Or maybe I’m scared by my very own thoughts?
I want to write about how my son’s personality is so
independent, how I learn so much from him about living with no limits and not
being embarrassed by the craziness of my thoughts and not having to apologize
for being me.
My entire life I always desired to ‘be me’, and in a way I guess I always have been because like
my son (funny how I’m comparing myself to him and not the other way round) I grew
up with a mind of my own. Mind! Most of the time my thoughts were unadulterated
– for example I wasn’t one to be influenced by friends and I rarely ever was
the average of my friends. I was me.
Many people tell me they admire my freewill and independence
– and it’s been hard to fully accept the praises because I knew something was
off – a disconnect between my thoughts and my actions.
I’m sure if my friends read this they’ll think I’m
under-rating myself, but I know I possess far more than they ever see or hear. They
don’t know the internal struggles I’m having with myself – the longing of
translating ‘being’ myself to ‘doing’
myself.
‘Doing’ myself is my new internal voice (maybe not new… but
let’s just assume it is) – it is more than just having an independent ‘mind’ to
actually saying and doing what is good for me. This seems nuanced but stop and
think – there is a separation line as thick as dreaming and living a dream. Am I
losing you?
If you are like me there are those moments when you wish you
said exactly what you were thinking instead of that diplomatic answer you gave;
wish you persevered on an idea you had – how different the outcome would have
been!
I strive for honesty, and if you’ve been reading my articles
and know me, you’ll know I’ve been doing an okay job. Now I want to give more meaning
to the honesty by saying and doing what my mind is saying. I’m guessing you’ll
be reading more about this in future blogs.
But this is not a process for the feeble minded. I’ve come a
long way, I’ve worked on my mind… my thoughts… and I’m still on that journey. I’m
at a point where my mind has been cultured in a way that I can trust my mind
enough to take the risk… are you?
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Desire is… not all
Does this seem like a total 180 from my last post? Not actually. I mentioned
I desired something so badly and I’ll let you know when I got it – well, here’s
a spoiler… I didn’t get it!
I have just traversed the most challenging time in my professional life, a
situation I thought I’ll have a grip over when it happened, but boy was I so
wrong. I had desired something, wanted it so desperately I went out of
character to get it, but all that energy didn’t hold at the end. I thought I had
failed myself, thought the whole world can’t understand me and are too blind to
see, etc. I have never been more in touch with my emotions, and never expressed
myself quite like that before. People always tell me I am very composed and
calm even in difficult situations – oh well that was put to the test. I seemed
composed and calm but there was this raging wavy sea inside of me that I wanted
to explode, or implode. I was so angry, and for more than a month was pondering
about how easy it is to encourage others in difficult situations but you can’t
apply those encouraging words when you are the one in a situation. All the stuff
about: ‘when a window closes, another one opens’; ‘light at the end of the
tunnel’; ‘everything works for good’; ‘God knows why’; etc., did not work at
consoling me. Each time someone said that, I felt like punching them. From where
I was standing, I couldn’t see that light at the end; that purpose; the good to
that situation; the doors that were opening, and so on. All my thought was
geared towards giving myself time to ‘heal’, I didn’t want to accelerate the
process – I was letting time to time. It wasn’t until last Wed, that was about
a month and half from the situation, that I felt like I could talk about the
situation without feeling bitter or remorseful, and I felt then I could actually
write this article. Then on Friday, I had a huge reality check…
On Friday I met my dear friend, mentor, God-fearing and one of the kindest
human beings I have ever known. We were discussing over lunch and I told him
what I had gone through. He stared at me straight in my face until I finished
my narrative, and he told me the Truth. He asked if I was a child of God – yes of
course (now I’m thinking, where is he going with this). I started defending
immediately about how I know everything happens for the good to them that love
God, etc. but then how I couldn’t see that when I had the situation. He let me
blab on for a while and he asked/told me:
“why do you fight over a small ‘thing’
like that when God has bigger ‘things’ for you?”
“The person who wanted that thing is that person you created, not you”
“A child of God doesn’t compete, they just get what God has made for them…”
He went on and on, pricking my conscience and the God-man in me,
challenging me with the Word, and making me see how ridiculous I had felt and
behaved in that situation and in the aftermath. He reminded me of who I am in
God’s eye, and that I shouldn’t belittle that. He diagnosed my issue to the
fact that I have been ‘spoilt’ by God and that I needed that experience –
although I didn’t need to feel and act the way I felt and acted after it
happened. He counted my blessings, something I couldn’t bring myself to do in
the crossover service of Dec 31 2014, and asked me how ungrateful I can be
being stuck because one thing didn’t work the way I wanted. As you could
imagine, he told me things I can’t mention here, he told me THE TRUTH and
called me out on my stupidity. Some of the things he said I can’t mention here
because they were so deep I am still meditating on them and asking God to inspire
me and enlighten me to see the purpose of the Words He said through my friend
and how I can apply them to make me a better God-person. God is great!
I am not yet ‘there’, but I am working on it. God has challenged me to
return to the place He had taken me to, and I intend to go back there and grow
spiritually. My experience challenges Napoleon Hill’s definition of desire. Desire does not transcend
everything, no matter how keen and pulsating it is – the love of God does.
We need to buffer desire (which has no heart) with the love of God (which is
God’s heart). This is my point of view and I am solely responsible for every
word in this article.
This article is dedicated to my friend, Mr Tambe. Thank you and I love you
sincerely. Not many people have the courage to look me in my eyes and tell me
the truth without judging me or condemning me. I’m still contemplating some of
the deeper things you told me, but I know with the Love of God, I will come to
understand them and be a better me. First of all, I need to regain the level of
confidence I had in myself before this situation, and then grow from there. Shalom!
Friday, November 14, 2014
Desire is...
That is my profile for this month – Desire is… I was inspired by words
written by my beloved brother, my mentor, on his profile on a social media
page. He wrote: DESIRE IS THE STARTING POINT OF
SUCCESS. The first thing that will contribute to reaching your goal is that you
simply want to reach it badly enough. You must learn how to desire with
sufficient intensity to be successful.
I have mentioned
in previous articles things get done in my life before the deadlines I set for
myself, most often with less effort and lesser contributing factors that I
envisaged at the starting point. Does that reflect how much I desired those
things? Did I desire with sufficient intensity and wanted it so badly that
forces of nature combined with spiritual forces thrust me to my goal at a speed
faster than the change in velocity at my starting point? Is this what is called
luck? Then I have had more lucks than I deserve. Were those my 15 minutes of
charm? Then 15 minutes in H Jackson Brown Jr’s world is like 15 years in mine.
‘You can
get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you better know something’ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It must have been
DESIRE –
“Desire
is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen
pulsating desire which transcends everything.” Napoleon Hill
There is one thing I desire this month, I’ll let you know
when I get it.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Do it… and then some
As is the case with some of my posts, it has taken me forever to come around to writing this one. I feel I must do it now because the year is coming to an end, and I know this is a period when people do a lot of introspection, trying to analyze their lives in the year just ending and strategize on how to move forward. I had the most trying period of my life, by far the worst, a few months ago. I was neck deep in an uncomfortable situation and the rest of the world seemed to have stood still when I so needed them. I have never tried so hard for something in my life like I did when I was in the situation. I tried all avenues I possibly could but there were always obstacles, obstacles from angles I never thought possible. In my mind, I was operating in a system where things were moving smoothly, but then aren’t we all humans? However, one thing I would admit to myself is that I made a little slip – I would have pushed harder.
How many times have we found ourselves in difficult circumstances, and we don’t get a solution because we don’t want another person (who could actually influence the situation) to feel uncomfortable or to find us overbearing? Ok, I get it, we don’t want to seem ‘inconsiderate’. But guess what, that person might have just needed that extra push for them to take action that will get you out of the crisis. When you go to an office and meet people sitting outside, do you just sit with them or you knock on the door of the office? This is a common scenario, and most people I know will just sit outside with the others, not knowing their mission. Maybe the person in the office is waiting just for you… maybe the others are not there for same reason as you… just knock that door and let the person you want to see ask you to wait outside – then you can join the queue. It is that extra effort that usually makes things happen. I failed to make one call in between calls because I trusted someone will do what they said they’ll do. That someone just needed me to make that extra call for them to remember to do what they promised to.
This is not to say we should go about bugging people. Do all you HAVE to do and then some! Your mission is not same as others, so strive for your objective. Be more assertive, stop trying to make everybody comfortable at your expense, and be polite in your interactions. My issue has not gone away, and it would have been better if I just made that one extra call! I am not one to give in to regrets, I am moving on, but I have issues with myself and my attitude that I have to handle.
To end, as you know, I always have a Rhema to remind myself of God’s grace in my life. Romans 8:28 : “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”.
My Grace Preacher, Pastor Prince writes in his Daily Devotional of Dec 6, 2012 thus: “’all things’ is literally all things — the good, the bad and the ugly! Now, it does not mean that all things are from God. Some things, such as accidents, sicknesses, broken relationships and divorces are not from Him. They are from the devil or just part of the fallen world that we live in. But what this verse does tell us about our inheritance as God’s beloved children.
Do the people of the world have this inheritance? No. When bad things happen to them, they are what they are — bad things. But when bad things happen to the children of God, it does not end there. God can make those bad things work together for good. In other words, the devil may throw lemons at you, but God can take those lemons and make refreshing lemonade for you! It is important you remember that God is not behind anything bad or ugly. But when those things happen, know that He can make all things work together for good. And don’t let anyone tell you that all things will work together for good only if you love God and are called according to His purpose. These two things are not conditions but descriptions of believers.
My friend, because you have been born again, all things in your life will work together for good. This is your inheritance as a beloved child of God!"
Merry Xmas to you and I pray that 2013 brings more joy, peace and happiness to your life and may you be a perfect reflection of God's abundant grace to the world!
How many times have we found ourselves in difficult circumstances, and we don’t get a solution because we don’t want another person (who could actually influence the situation) to feel uncomfortable or to find us overbearing? Ok, I get it, we don’t want to seem ‘inconsiderate’. But guess what, that person might have just needed that extra push for them to take action that will get you out of the crisis. When you go to an office and meet people sitting outside, do you just sit with them or you knock on the door of the office? This is a common scenario, and most people I know will just sit outside with the others, not knowing their mission. Maybe the person in the office is waiting just for you… maybe the others are not there for same reason as you… just knock that door and let the person you want to see ask you to wait outside – then you can join the queue. It is that extra effort that usually makes things happen. I failed to make one call in between calls because I trusted someone will do what they said they’ll do. That someone just needed me to make that extra call for them to remember to do what they promised to.
This is not to say we should go about bugging people. Do all you HAVE to do and then some! Your mission is not same as others, so strive for your objective. Be more assertive, stop trying to make everybody comfortable at your expense, and be polite in your interactions. My issue has not gone away, and it would have been better if I just made that one extra call! I am not one to give in to regrets, I am moving on, but I have issues with myself and my attitude that I have to handle.
To end, as you know, I always have a Rhema to remind myself of God’s grace in my life. Romans 8:28 : “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”.
My Grace Preacher, Pastor Prince writes in his Daily Devotional of Dec 6, 2012 thus: “’all things’ is literally all things — the good, the bad and the ugly! Now, it does not mean that all things are from God. Some things, such as accidents, sicknesses, broken relationships and divorces are not from Him. They are from the devil or just part of the fallen world that we live in. But what this verse does tell us about our inheritance as God’s beloved children.
Do the people of the world have this inheritance? No. When bad things happen to them, they are what they are — bad things. But when bad things happen to the children of God, it does not end there. God can make those bad things work together for good. In other words, the devil may throw lemons at you, but God can take those lemons and make refreshing lemonade for you! It is important you remember that God is not behind anything bad or ugly. But when those things happen, know that He can make all things work together for good. And don’t let anyone tell you that all things will work together for good only if you love God and are called according to His purpose. These two things are not conditions but descriptions of believers.
My friend, because you have been born again, all things in your life will work together for good. This is your inheritance as a beloved child of God!"
Merry Xmas to you and I pray that 2013 brings more joy, peace and happiness to your life and may you be a perfect reflection of God's abundant grace to the world!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Who gets the credit?
For no reason, I got up around 3am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I lay in bed pondering a few things until 5.25am when I got up and prepared for work. I am in the office at 6.30am, an hour before official start time. What better thing to do than write a couple of articles.
When I was getting dressed for work, something came to my mind – inspiration for this article. I don’t believe in ‘luck’, I believe in opportunity meeting proactive effort to make things happen. But like me you may have noticed that some people are very proactive and even create opportunities through their hard work but then they never reap the fruits thereof; while others just ride on the back of the success horse left behind by others. How do the latter feel about this? Who do we credit the achievement to? It’s all so confusing to me.
The carnal nature is selfish, ingratiating even when not merited. It therefore takes someone who has transcended these attitudes to create opportunities, or exploit existing opportunities through deliberate proactive efforts, knowing that their legacy will end where another person takes over and reaps the fruit of their labor. But does their legacy really end? Who gets the ‘pat on the back’ for that success? Now if this has been too much theory, let me break it down with a hypothetical example; A farmer acquires a piece of land, tills it, cultivates and for reasons beyond his control, he has to abandon the farm. The crops mature and who is there to reap - a neighbor or the land owner or someone else. Do you see my dilemma? If it came to rewarding someone for that achievement, who will you reward?
I have said many times before, and it is one of my mantras – ‘life is not fair’. I still struggle though with issues around justice and fairness. But if you think like me in my less emotional and more pious time, you’ll know that we have the responsibility of setting goals, doing our best to reach those goals, always bearing in mind time is not ours to manipulate, but God’s. Whenever there is the call of ‘timeout’ for us, we should be able to say we did the best we could when we had the time. Whoever reaps the fruits will be immaterial because we’ll know our Heavenly Father knows better than us – mere mortals, and rewards accordingly!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Anger cannot rule my world!
It’s the last day of May and I am so on the fence with respect to dates with my blog articles. Guess my thoughts are on the fence as well. As I had mentioned earlier, I won’t write an item just for the sake of writing or of meeting my ‘at least once a month’ target, my higher calling is to write something that comes from deep within…
This morning while preparing for work, I remembered my teenage years, not the good aspects from that era (albeit there were so many!) but the few memories that bring sadness to my mind. Generally I was a very happy kid growing up, so full of life, but very determined and strong will, which came across in a myriad of ways – some good as in my academic work, friendships; some not so good as in doing what I wanted even if the rest of the world thought otherwise. Thinking about all those things inspired me to write an article that may be useful to others. I got to the office, opened my favorite devotional and the Word, logos, just became the rhema to me this day. Such a coincidence!
When I was growing up, I used to have serious feats of anger, some that lasted a month and beyond. What was amazing was that my anger was limited only to my parents and siblings, not friends nor classmates. I remember at one time not talking in the house for a month because I felt betrayed by one of my sisters and was punished as a consequence of that. I practically stopped eating in the house even after my punishment was lifted (because the punishment I received included refusal of food even though I had to clean the dishes when others had eaten – how cruel is that!). At another time, I was falsely accused of being seen somewhere I had never been to – I am still awed by that accusation up to date. So many false accusations were coming my way from time to time that fed the anger in me and I just had this constant burning deep within, wishing the people close to me understood who I really was and what values I had all the time. I am sure they did, but like most parents and siblings, they preferred to err on the side of caution. But at that age, all I saw was that I wasn’t understood and loved enough. I showed my dissatisfaction in many ways like refusing to eat, keeping to myself, not talking about my progress in school, and above all carrying a ‘long face’ around the house. Just to clarify a thing, it’s not like I wasn’t understood by every sibling and parent most of the time, on the contrary I felt real love most of the time, but then every incidence of misunderstanding really had great impacts on me.
Some of my siblings were always on my side. They reacted differently when they knew I was angry, some passive, some more actively like talking to the person who caused the situation. Above everyone else, there is one who totally understood me and what I was going through – my eldest brother. He was, and still is, my role model. The surprising thing is that he was out of the country during that period, but we still found means of ‘talking’ to each other – me telling him things that happen and him advising and encouraging me. He kept on telling me to control my anger, not to take negative comments too seriously and ignore situations that would lead to me being misunderstood. His letters and cards were almost the best things that happened to me when I was angry (I’ll try to get some of the ones I can still find and do an article – I promise). His words were so comforting, and it really felt good to know someone loved me unconditionally, and did not judge me too harshly. Despite all his advice, I still carried my anger to the university. I psychologically pulled myself away from what people thought of me, and could care less if the world around me was burning, so long as I didn’t start the fire and I’m not burnt with the rest of the world. I even completely disengaged myself from things happening in the family if I wasn’t directly involved. When my sisters were showing me tough love, my brother was just so loving. But then, is a brother’s unconditional love enough to get one out of a bad habit? My rhema for today gives a succinct answer…
Philippians 2:13: “for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.”
When I was in the third year in University, I decided to not let ANYTHING get me to the point of being angry for long. Here’s a word from my devotional I tried hard but I wasn’t getting as much success as the effort I was putting in. The changes were temporary because it was me doing it. And then the Word of the Lord hit me –
“In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry" (NIV, Eph 4:26).
I realized I had been focusing on the first part of the verse as consolation, rewarding myself for not insulting offenders. However, of all human emotion, anger has been known to be one of the most destructive. So how can I live with anger and not sin?
"Anger tends to evil" (Ps 37:8) and it "stirs up strife" (Prov 15:18; 29:22; 30:33).
OK then God, I am but human, given to anger at times, but how do I get out of it controlling my life? How do I stop being angry with someone when the person does not feel like they were wrong? How do I free myself from the bondage of anger? Tough questions but God being faithful gave me answers in the way he transformed me by Grace.
I read and re-read verses about anger in the Bible, the consequences of anger, and what God thinks about anger. I prayed and prayed and opened up to God about this canker worm and that I was helpless, I needed His intervention. He inspired me with mantras like: “ life is too short for me to be angry” “nobody deserves my anger”, etc. I kept his Word hidden in my heart, and before I knew it I was totally out of the loop. Alleluia! I was set free of the bondage of anger! Each time I realized a situation was getting steamy, I walked away or bit my tongue, or chuckled and then it’s history. I still get angry from time to time, but that is in extreme circumstances, but most importantly I don’t let the sun go down on my anger – most of the time.
If you are reading this blog and are in any type of emotional bondage, know that
only God can take you out of that situation. Inspirational and anger management books, movies dealing with that topic, friends and relatives can ease the situation temporarily, but only God can bring you out of it permanently. And do not let what others do affect you in a way that evokes that emotion; know that the only thing you can control is how you act or react towards circumstances, and not how others do. Today, I am a very happy woman, not giving in to people’s whims and caprices. People who knew me in my adult life will probably be shocked if they read this (thank goodness they won’t!) because they cannot believe I was ever given in to anger (except my hubby, of course) – they know I am assertive and honest in the way I feel, but ‘angry’ is not a word they’ll use to describe me. Sounds presumptuous? Go ask them! God bless you!Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Love and appreciation: Perceptions and Expectations
I have been not been able to write this article for a couple of weeks now mainly because I’ve been snowed under by work. Actually, it was supposed to be my March entry. Now I owe myself at least two articles this month to make up for the fault.
People have many problems that affect the way they relate with the society and circumstances, among which is their perception of being loved and appreciated. I maintain the word ‘perception’ because it is the way the person feels about the situation, not necessarily the way it actually is. Let me break it down the way I understand these two very affective notions: love and appreciation. Some people feel they are/were not loved and/or appreciated at all or enough by their parents and or siblings and or spouses. So this raises the question of WHY do they feel that way? Do their definitions of love and perception match the other person’s? I have learnt, through experience and a lot of reflection that people have differing, albeit conflicting ways of showing they love or appreciate someone.
In our typical African society, parents don’t often tell their child ‘I love you’! Does this mean their children are less loved than children from communities where these words are like a prefix to every sentence? Absolutely not! Many of us never even tell our spouses that we love them, but then we do like crazy. We grew up with what can be referred to as ‘tough love’ in the literal sense of it. Our parents will show how much they love us by disciplining us in ways we can never forget (any memories here?) because they love us so much they won’t want us to repeat the same mistake twice. They sacrificed a lot for us, wearing the same pair of shoes for two years because there is a conflicting need to them getting a new pair and feeding us, and they chose the latter. They care when we fail or don’t meet certain expectations that they ‘challenge’ us to do better by rewarding the sibling who performed better. This is same thing with some couples. There are couples who have never told their spouses ‘I love you’, but they show it in the way they respect and honour the other. They are attentive to their partner’s needs, and are selfless in giving a good image of the other.
In a similar light how do we feel appreciated? Do we want to be told ‘Well done, good work’ by our bosses, colleagues, spouses, family members all the time? I was a very bright student growing up, but my mom had set a very high standard for me that being second in class (even with an excellent average) just didn’t cut it. You had to be the best to get her to give back your report card without saying anything. What was most amazing was that being the top of the class alone didn’t cut it either, you needed to maintain a consistent excellent grade in all your subjects. Ok, I didn’t turn out to be a genius, but I later understood that my mother was very appreciative of my efforts to get better in school. She just didn’t say it. Many of us can relate with that, and have many other examples in our lives where we felt we were trying too hard to please somebody and the person just couldn’t say it. I will leave out details about appreciation in a couple as this will be the subject of another blog.
Now here are my deepest thoughts on these issues:
· Convergence of our perception of being loved, and actually being loved. Do we expect more than we can get? Our parents gave us the best of what they had. You can’t expect blood from cabbage (quoting a famous politician). My advice: look at the intention, not the words! However, because we are creating our own families, we can give more than what we had. Understanding the other person is very important, and learning to say those words might make all the difference. Some people by nature are very sentimental and will want to be told those words – it doesn’t kill to say them. Others are more action/intention-focused that they will want love to be demonstrated – demonstrate it. Simply put, find a balance between how you know how to love, and what the other person expects from you.
· For appreciation, I will be brief because there are really no alternatives: PLEASE YOURSELF. Do everything as if you were doing for yourself, rather than to get recognition from others. Pop a bottle of champagne and celebrate your achievements like you are the best at it. If there is someone willing to celebrate with you, then pour him a glass – being generous can only add more blessings!
People have many problems that affect the way they relate with the society and circumstances, among which is their perception of being loved and appreciated. I maintain the word ‘perception’ because it is the way the person feels about the situation, not necessarily the way it actually is. Let me break it down the way I understand these two very affective notions: love and appreciation. Some people feel they are/were not loved and/or appreciated at all or enough by their parents and or siblings and or spouses. So this raises the question of WHY do they feel that way? Do their definitions of love and perception match the other person’s? I have learnt, through experience and a lot of reflection that people have differing, albeit conflicting ways of showing they love or appreciate someone.
In our typical African society, parents don’t often tell their child ‘I love you’! Does this mean their children are less loved than children from communities where these words are like a prefix to every sentence? Absolutely not! Many of us never even tell our spouses that we love them, but then we do like crazy. We grew up with what can be referred to as ‘tough love’ in the literal sense of it. Our parents will show how much they love us by disciplining us in ways we can never forget (any memories here?) because they love us so much they won’t want us to repeat the same mistake twice. They sacrificed a lot for us, wearing the same pair of shoes for two years because there is a conflicting need to them getting a new pair and feeding us, and they chose the latter. They care when we fail or don’t meet certain expectations that they ‘challenge’ us to do better by rewarding the sibling who performed better. This is same thing with some couples. There are couples who have never told their spouses ‘I love you’, but they show it in the way they respect and honour the other. They are attentive to their partner’s needs, and are selfless in giving a good image of the other.
In a similar light how do we feel appreciated? Do we want to be told ‘Well done, good work’ by our bosses, colleagues, spouses, family members all the time? I was a very bright student growing up, but my mom had set a very high standard for me that being second in class (even with an excellent average) just didn’t cut it. You had to be the best to get her to give back your report card without saying anything. What was most amazing was that being the top of the class alone didn’t cut it either, you needed to maintain a consistent excellent grade in all your subjects. Ok, I didn’t turn out to be a genius, but I later understood that my mother was very appreciative of my efforts to get better in school. She just didn’t say it. Many of us can relate with that, and have many other examples in our lives where we felt we were trying too hard to please somebody and the person just couldn’t say it. I will leave out details about appreciation in a couple as this will be the subject of another blog.
Now here are my deepest thoughts on these issues:
· Convergence of our perception of being loved, and actually being loved. Do we expect more than we can get? Our parents gave us the best of what they had. You can’t expect blood from cabbage (quoting a famous politician). My advice: look at the intention, not the words! However, because we are creating our own families, we can give more than what we had. Understanding the other person is very important, and learning to say those words might make all the difference. Some people by nature are very sentimental and will want to be told those words – it doesn’t kill to say them. Others are more action/intention-focused that they will want love to be demonstrated – demonstrate it. Simply put, find a balance between how you know how to love, and what the other person expects from you.
· For appreciation, I will be brief because there are really no alternatives: PLEASE YOURSELF. Do everything as if you were doing for yourself, rather than to get recognition from others. Pop a bottle of champagne and celebrate your achievements like you are the best at it. If there is someone willing to celebrate with you, then pour him a glass – being generous can only add more blessings!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Hurray! Another dawn
My last post was in April 2010… exactly one year ago. It was a birthday post, so yes you are right, I am one year older today… or younger depending on your reference point.
This past year has been unquestionably the best year of my life. Do you know the Bible verse that says that God is able to do “, exceeding abundantly above all you can ever think or imagine?” (Eph 3:20), that is where I am at now. My cup of blessings is overflowing, despite the fact that it has been “pressed down, shaken together” (Luke 6:38). I am just pouring the excess into other people’s cups.
Where do I start from to count my numerous blessings? God has been awesome in his divine providence. He continuously reminded me of His word (the Rhema that worketh at all times!) in Phil 4:13 “I can do all through Him who strengthens me”, He means that literally. I don’t need a preacher to break this down to me, it is in simple English and has no literally connotation.
How do I count my blessings? How do I summarise it for another person to understand without feeling jealous, or without feeling life is not fair? A friend helped me with a good summary this morning when she said: “Precious, how many people at your age have achieved what you have…?” (and then she went on to mention them). I am still hesitating to mention some of the blessings because I am afraid it may weaken someone rather than strengthen him/her. Anyway, celebrate with me because the Lord has manifested His abundant love to me, as He does to everyone else.
I will definitely count my blessings and name them one by one, but I will do so with God.
Ok, the above paragraphs might give the impression that yours truly has reached the height of it. Absolutely NOT! I am a ‘chantier’, God’s work is not done in me yet. I am a work in progress, in fact God working on/in me can be likened to a farmer tilling a rocky soil. Can you imagine how many hoes and spades and dig axes, etc, that farmer will need? Not to mention the energy dispensed and the time. God bless my soul.
This has led me to my main challenge this coming year… working on myself to render myself an easier ground for seed sowing. I really can’t do it on my own, so I am allowing the Holy Spirit to do that work in me, like causing rain to fall before the farmer starts tilling. One step at a time. I will start with the one I consider to be the most fundamental as others build from it… keeping a routine.
From now this ceases to be a problem but a challenge. I find it difficult to keep any routine (maybe except watching my favourite programmes on TV…shame on me). I have been using the freedom God has given me so freely, but now I have to be asking myself those questions that will enable me to ensure my freedom does not impose harm on another person, including of course, and most especially my son. How do I exercise my freedom in a way that will make my son, my hubby, those around me and myself better people? That is the question of the year! Refer to Gal 5 and 1 Corinth 8 and 10
There are so many things I know I can do through God who gives me strength if I can just keep a routine. I won’t go on to enumerate the things I want to be doing regularly, which presently I am not, but which if done will make me a better person. I will, just like my blessings, present them to God.
You may be wondering why I am saying, and not saying… at the same time. I just need one thing from you… pray for me. Pray for the Holy Spirit to work in and through me to enable me do the things I need to be doing regularly. Don’t be afraid I might ask something disastrous, I have and am aligning my desires with God’s plan for my life!
God Bless you. I love you with the love of the Lord.
This past year has been unquestionably the best year of my life. Do you know the Bible verse that says that God is able to do “, exceeding abundantly above all you can ever think or imagine?” (Eph 3:20), that is where I am at now. My cup of blessings is overflowing, despite the fact that it has been “pressed down, shaken together” (Luke 6:38). I am just pouring the excess into other people’s cups.
Where do I start from to count my numerous blessings? God has been awesome in his divine providence. He continuously reminded me of His word (the Rhema that worketh at all times!) in Phil 4:13 “I can do all through Him who strengthens me”, He means that literally. I don’t need a preacher to break this down to me, it is in simple English and has no literally connotation.
How do I count my blessings? How do I summarise it for another person to understand without feeling jealous, or without feeling life is not fair? A friend helped me with a good summary this morning when she said: “Precious, how many people at your age have achieved what you have…?” (and then she went on to mention them). I am still hesitating to mention some of the blessings because I am afraid it may weaken someone rather than strengthen him/her. Anyway, celebrate with me because the Lord has manifested His abundant love to me, as He does to everyone else.
I will definitely count my blessings and name them one by one, but I will do so with God.
Ok, the above paragraphs might give the impression that yours truly has reached the height of it. Absolutely NOT! I am a ‘chantier’, God’s work is not done in me yet. I am a work in progress, in fact God working on/in me can be likened to a farmer tilling a rocky soil. Can you imagine how many hoes and spades and dig axes, etc, that farmer will need? Not to mention the energy dispensed and the time. God bless my soul.
This has led me to my main challenge this coming year… working on myself to render myself an easier ground for seed sowing. I really can’t do it on my own, so I am allowing the Holy Spirit to do that work in me, like causing rain to fall before the farmer starts tilling. One step at a time. I will start with the one I consider to be the most fundamental as others build from it… keeping a routine.
From now this ceases to be a problem but a challenge. I find it difficult to keep any routine (maybe except watching my favourite programmes on TV…shame on me). I have been using the freedom God has given me so freely, but now I have to be asking myself those questions that will enable me to ensure my freedom does not impose harm on another person, including of course, and most especially my son. How do I exercise my freedom in a way that will make my son, my hubby, those around me and myself better people? That is the question of the year! Refer to Gal 5 and 1 Corinth 8 and 10
There are so many things I know I can do through God who gives me strength if I can just keep a routine. I won’t go on to enumerate the things I want to be doing regularly, which presently I am not, but which if done will make me a better person. I will, just like my blessings, present them to God.
You may be wondering why I am saying, and not saying… at the same time. I just need one thing from you… pray for me. Pray for the Holy Spirit to work in and through me to enable me do the things I need to be doing regularly. Don’t be afraid I might ask something disastrous, I have and am aligning my desires with God’s plan for my life!
God Bless you. I love you with the love of the Lord.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
My B-day Thoughts - The World Beyond
This is perhaps the longest item published on this blog, but it took me just a few minutes to write this up because it has been in my thoughts for the past week.
When I was younger, during periods when I am ill my sister, Renz, will come into the room and start singing those religious songs that were frequently heard at funerals. I will scream and beg her to stop. Then it was because I was so scared of dying, simply because I did not know why I was living.
When you understand why you are living, the purpose for which you were born in the first place, you regard death as the other side of life. While you work and toil to ensure you fulfil your life’s purpose, you await the time when you will be called on to your reward, at the other side of life – death.
Paul lived all our lives… for the sinners, he was the worse of them all; for the believers, he was the best in his time; for the unmarried, he was the most preserved and faithful of them; for those who like exploring the world, he sailed the seas endlessly. So what do you have to hold against him? When this guy was nearing the end of his life, and looking forward to the life beyond – death, he said
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim 4:7; NIV).
This is an example for us. The Bible encourages us to "run with patience (endurance, persistence) the race set before us, looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith ... For consider Him that endured ... lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." (Heb 12:1-3). Need I say more? Ask your local church pastor.
Now, with my purpose of living so clear in my mind, and as I enter another year in my life, I have been pondering what my family, friends, and loved ones will say of me when I am gone to the world a yonder – to be with my Eternal Father. I have thought of many lines: “she lived her life gracefully…”; “she brought smiles to the faces of so many…” etc., and my thoughts have neigh turned negative at any point. I am not allowed to write my own eulogy, so l will leave that to the rest living on earth when I transcend the evil of this world.
I have however been inspired by some of the greatest eulogies of our time, and wondered if mine will come any close to them. The last two paragraphs of Margaret Thatcher’s eulogy to Ronald Reagan (former US President) reads
“For the final years of his life, Ronnie's mind was clouded by illness. That cloud has now lifted. He is himself again - more himself than at any time on this earth. For we may be sure that the Big Fella Upstairs never forgets those who remember Him. And as the last journey of this faithful pilgrim took him beyond the sunset, and as heaven's morning broke, I like to think - in the words of Bunyan - that `all the trumpets sounded on the other side'.
We here still move in twilight. But we have one beacon to guide us that Ronald Reagan never had. We have his example. Let us give thanks today for a life that achieved so much for all of God's children.”
Mahatma Gandhi was a great fighter, fighting for the freedom of all peoples. When he passed on, Jawaharlal Nehru (India’s first PM) said the following:
“Friends and comrades, the light has gone out of our lives and there is darkness everywhere. I do not know what to tell you and how to say it. Our beloved leader, Bapu as we called him, the father of the nation, is no more. Perhaps I am wrong to say that. Nevertheless, we will not see him again as we have seen him for these many years. We will not run to him for advice and seek solace from him, and that is a terrible blow, not to me only, but to millions and millions in this country, and it is a little difficult to soften the blow by any other advice that I or anyone else can give you.
The light has gone out, I said, and yet I was wrong. For the light that shone in this country was no ordinary light. The light that has illumined this country for these many years will illumine this country for many more years, and a thousand years later that light will still be seen in this country, and the world will see it and it will give solace to innumerable hearts. For that light represented the living truth ... the eternal truths, reminding us of the right path, drawing us from error, taking this ancient country to freedom.
All this has happened when there was so much more for him to do. We could never think that he was unnecessary or that he had done his task. But now, particularly, when we are faced with so many difficulties, his not being with us is a blow most terrible to bear”.
I am not trying to compare myself to Reagan or the great Gandhi, but hey I know in my little space, I can make a huge impact such that when I am gone, people will think the light is gone, and know that the Big Fella upstairs has not forgotten me.
To conclude, in the 19th Century, one of the greatest poets who ever lived was Emily Dickenson (1830 – 1886). She wrote countless poems about death and was thought of as someone who adored death. One of those poems titled 'IF I SHOULD DIE' reads:
If I should die,
And you should live,
And time should gurgle on,
And morn should beam,
And noon should burn,
As it has usual done;
If birds should build as early,
And bees as bustling go,
--One might depart at option
From enterprise below!
T'is sweet to know that stocks will stand
When we with daisies lie,
That commerce will continue,
And trades as briskly fly.
It makes the parting tranquil
And keeps the soul serene,
That gentlemen so sprightly
Conduct the pleasing scene!
Love and Peace. Yours Truly, moi!
When I was younger, during periods when I am ill my sister, Renz, will come into the room and start singing those religious songs that were frequently heard at funerals. I will scream and beg her to stop. Then it was because I was so scared of dying, simply because I did not know why I was living.
When you understand why you are living, the purpose for which you were born in the first place, you regard death as the other side of life. While you work and toil to ensure you fulfil your life’s purpose, you await the time when you will be called on to your reward, at the other side of life – death.
Paul lived all our lives… for the sinners, he was the worse of them all; for the believers, he was the best in his time; for the unmarried, he was the most preserved and faithful of them; for those who like exploring the world, he sailed the seas endlessly. So what do you have to hold against him? When this guy was nearing the end of his life, and looking forward to the life beyond – death, he said
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim 4:7; NIV).
This is an example for us. The Bible encourages us to "run with patience (endurance, persistence) the race set before us, looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith ... For consider Him that endured ... lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." (Heb 12:1-3). Need I say more? Ask your local church pastor.
Now, with my purpose of living so clear in my mind, and as I enter another year in my life, I have been pondering what my family, friends, and loved ones will say of me when I am gone to the world a yonder – to be with my Eternal Father. I have thought of many lines: “she lived her life gracefully…”; “she brought smiles to the faces of so many…” etc., and my thoughts have neigh turned negative at any point. I am not allowed to write my own eulogy, so l will leave that to the rest living on earth when I transcend the evil of this world.
I have however been inspired by some of the greatest eulogies of our time, and wondered if mine will come any close to them. The last two paragraphs of Margaret Thatcher’s eulogy to Ronald Reagan (former US President) reads
“For the final years of his life, Ronnie's mind was clouded by illness. That cloud has now lifted. He is himself again - more himself than at any time on this earth. For we may be sure that the Big Fella Upstairs never forgets those who remember Him. And as the last journey of this faithful pilgrim took him beyond the sunset, and as heaven's morning broke, I like to think - in the words of Bunyan - that `all the trumpets sounded on the other side'.
We here still move in twilight. But we have one beacon to guide us that Ronald Reagan never had. We have his example. Let us give thanks today for a life that achieved so much for all of God's children.”
Mahatma Gandhi was a great fighter, fighting for the freedom of all peoples. When he passed on, Jawaharlal Nehru (India’s first PM) said the following:
“Friends and comrades, the light has gone out of our lives and there is darkness everywhere. I do not know what to tell you and how to say it. Our beloved leader, Bapu as we called him, the father of the nation, is no more. Perhaps I am wrong to say that. Nevertheless, we will not see him again as we have seen him for these many years. We will not run to him for advice and seek solace from him, and that is a terrible blow, not to me only, but to millions and millions in this country, and it is a little difficult to soften the blow by any other advice that I or anyone else can give you.
The light has gone out, I said, and yet I was wrong. For the light that shone in this country was no ordinary light. The light that has illumined this country for these many years will illumine this country for many more years, and a thousand years later that light will still be seen in this country, and the world will see it and it will give solace to innumerable hearts. For that light represented the living truth ... the eternal truths, reminding us of the right path, drawing us from error, taking this ancient country to freedom.
All this has happened when there was so much more for him to do. We could never think that he was unnecessary or that he had done his task. But now, particularly, when we are faced with so many difficulties, his not being with us is a blow most terrible to bear”.
I am not trying to compare myself to Reagan or the great Gandhi, but hey I know in my little space, I can make a huge impact such that when I am gone, people will think the light is gone, and know that the Big Fella upstairs has not forgotten me.
To conclude, in the 19th Century, one of the greatest poets who ever lived was Emily Dickenson (1830 – 1886). She wrote countless poems about death and was thought of as someone who adored death. One of those poems titled 'IF I SHOULD DIE' reads:
If I should die,
And you should live,
And time should gurgle on,
And morn should beam,
And noon should burn,
As it has usual done;
If birds should build as early,
And bees as bustling go,
--One might depart at option
From enterprise below!
T'is sweet to know that stocks will stand
When we with daisies lie,
That commerce will continue,
And trades as briskly fly.
It makes the parting tranquil
And keeps the soul serene,
That gentlemen so sprightly
Conduct the pleasing scene!
Love and Peace. Yours Truly, moi!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Most Inspiring Words!
I didn't know what else to do with this after forwarding to friends whose addresses I could easily lay my hands on... and I thought I might just bless someone with this if I post it on my blog. Hope you are blessed at the end of this. I want to thank my dear friend, Perps, for sending this to me.
There
was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations..
Life Is a Gift
Today
Before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before
you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat..
Before
you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today
Before
you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven..
Before
whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around..
God Bless You!
There
was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations..
Life Is a Gift
Today
Before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before
you complain about the taste of your food -
Think of someone who has nothing to eat..
Before
you complain about your husband or wife -
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today
Before
you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven..
Before
whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around..
God Bless You!
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